I had a dream last night about my appointment at the allergist, which happened this afternoon. The doctor, during a routine stethoscope check, told me I had a heart murmur, and, like the way it’s happened before, he said, “Did you know that you have a heart murmur?” And of course every time I say yes, but in my dream I say, “Oh my god. That’s new information.
“Get me to a goddamn hospital.”
And he said, “Really?” And I said, no. And he asked, why did you say that to me then? And I replied, excitement and prestige are interesting, and everything else is not—at least you would remember this day, or come home with a story to tell instead of another routine, another patient gone by, another day spent in silent grimacing smiling misery, instead of the—okay, have you ever seen Fight Club? You know when he shoots, no wait, he threatens, okay so Brad Pitt has got a gun and he’s threatening this cashier with it telling him to get an education, and he tells Edward Norton that the next day he, he being the cashier, wakes up, it’ll be the brightest sun he’s ever seen, the freshest breakfast he’s ever had, and it’s funny because Brad Pitt is actually Edward Norton’s imagination and he’s trying to do the same thing to himself, threatening himself with a gun later on, a foreshadowing—what the hell was I talking about? Let me start over.
I had a dream last night about my appointment at the allergist, which happened this afternoon. The doctor, during a routine stethoscope check, told me I had a heart murmur, and, like the way it’s happened before, he said, “Did you know that you have a heart murmur?” And of course every time I say yes, but in my dream I say, “Oh my god. That’s new information.
“Get me to a goddamn hospital.”
And he said, you’re talking to me as if I’m not here. And then I said, yeah, and you like that, don’t you, you naughty little bitch. And then he became a blend of ex-girlfriends with a shiny vagina and grew fairy wings and we fucked like animals with fairy wings.
Funny thing is, when I went to the allergist today, he said, “Did you know that you have a heart murmur?”
